Broken to Beautiful
I am the product of a broken home. My parents divorced when I was 3 years old. After that my younger sister and I moved away with my mom. Growing up was difficult for me. I was the oldest daughter and there was a lot of responsibility placed on my shoulders from a young age. I felt like I never got to be a kid. I had to grow up, and be mature, and be responsible because my mother needed me to be. It never helped that I didn’t fit in at school. I was always quirky and different from everyone else. I tried so desperately to fit in, but always seemed to fall short of what everyone else wanted me to be.
As a teen, I had a bad relationship with both of my parents and their spouses. I was angry. I was confused. I was broken. I lived for a long time in a state of depression. Never feeling good enough. Never feeling like things would ever be different for me. Feeling unlovable. I truly believed that I was worthless. Anxiety haunted my mind. Always lingering, alert, and ready to attach itself to any thought that I had.
I grew up in church and knew the promises of God. I knew that God loved me so much he sent his son to die on the cross. I knew that I was fearfully and wonderfully made, but I couldn’t convince myself of his grace and his love for me. I knew that God had a calling on my life, but I didn’t believe that as broken as I was I could ever be used effectively in ministry. I thought I had to be perfect, and eventually I forgot about the promises that God made to me.
I believed all the lies the devil told me until I started attending FAM Church. Here is where I found peace, healing, and grace. The presence of the God is so alive in this place. After leaving my family church I began to experience God for myself, as an individual. God started to remind me of the promises he made to me, and I began to accept those promises. I began to experience peace and healing in my mind. I began to believe that God’s grace was for me, and I began to have grace for myself. I am still being healed, and remade in Christ. I still have bad days and hard times, where I forget the promises of God. I still lose myself to sin, but he always finds me and reminds me of how gracious, loving and wonderful he is.